Call Me … But Only When You’re In Middle School

CONNECTIONS | by KAVITA VARMA-WHITE

“MOM, WHEN CAN I GET A CELL PHONE?”

“I don’t know … probably when you get to middle school.”

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This conversation apparently transpired between me and my grade-school-aged kids during some car ride a few years ago. (I don’t recall when it happened, since conversations like this take place every time we’re in the car!)

Now the kids ― especially my 10-year-old, fifth-grader daughter, who begins middle school next year ― are holding me to my promise.

While my initial “middle school” answer was arbitrary (I’m sure I thought it was a long way off), research and advice from other parents of middle schoolers are proving it’s a reasonable, appropriate age (at least for my child; all families are different) to have a cell phone.

For tweens, getting a cell phone is a both a step toward independence and a status symbol among friends. It’s also kind of a lifeline to a support group of family and friends, which becomes so important when you enter the middle-school “big pond” world of multiple classrooms/teachers and general adventures in adolescence.

For parents, the benefits are more tangible. You get to keep in touch with your child at all times and you’re provided with a sense of safety and security, especially in emergency-type situations. Texting is a great way for teens to discreetly communicate with parents. Plus there’s the practical aspect, i.e.: “Call me when you need a ride home from soccer practice.”

Like any form of technology, it’s best to establish rules of use. Consider:

• A pre-paid plan with a limited number of minutes so you don’t face extra charges.
• The ability to put limits on what the phone can do, such as turning off web access.
• Devising a plan for monitoring your child’s text messages.
• Have a discussion about serious cell phone issues, such as the dangers of driving while on a phone, cyberbullying and cell-phone etiquette.