WELLNESS | by POSY GERING

IT’S TAX DAY, time to account to the IRS for all the money we squandered or spent well. But what about the taxes you place on almost every decision and activity through your expectations and judgment?

For example:

• When you go on vacation, are you searching for the perfect moment in order to feel that the trip is worthwhile?
• When you invite friends to dinner, do you tax yourself with expectations of how clean the house should be?
• When you decide to eat ice cream, do you tax yourself with the shame of “I’m bad for eating this?”

I’m not suggesting that decisions and actions have no consequences. Rather, I propose that we be more fully aware of the unintended consequences that judgment and expectations create. We make ourselves miserable with condemnations about what we “should have done.” We spend frenzied hours – or days – consumed in activities to impress others, when they already love us. Those are the hidden personal taxes. They prevent us from fully living the life we actually have.

After all, if I’m going to eat the ice cream anyway, I may as well derive the total sum of pleasure from it.

BACK TO BASICS | by KAVITA VARMA-WHITE

SUSAN BEACHAM, A NATIONAL EXPERT ON KIDS AND MONEY, explains the importance of teaching kids to be money-savvy with this brilliant quote: “If you don’t teach kids the ABC’s of personal finance, you will be left with D and E – debt and entitlement – later on.”

Beacham, who had a two-decade career in private banking and investment management, founded Money Savvy Generation, a company that develops innovative products to help parents and educators teach basic personal finance skills to school-age children.

The products range from picture books to piggy banks to a personal-finance organizer geared to teens, all pushing the same message: Kids need to know there are four things they can do with money: save, spend, donate or invest.

Other companies, like Seattle-based Moonjar, are also in the money-guidance game, with products like the retro-style three-sided tins where you can deposit money to save, spend or share. Moonjar’s latest offering is the Family Kit, which comes with a lesson plan that helps kids of all ages understand wants and needs, budgeting and goal setting.

Of course, you don’t have to buy products to help teach your kids to be money savvy. The best way is to be a good role model and talk to your children about the importance of budgeting, saving and investing.

Some other good ideas:

• Open a savings account in your child’s name. Make going to the bank and depositing that piggy bank full of coins a fun event.
• Set up a matching plan. If they deposit $25 in the bank, you’ll match it with the same amount.
• Plan what to do with money received as gifts: Use half to spend on something you need/want; put the other half in the bank or donate to a good cause.

TRENDSPOTTING | by MOLLY MARTIN

BUYING A NEW COMPUTER CAN BE PARALYZING: So many variables, so many dealers, so many sales. And yet not enough clarity about what fits your needs now, not to mention what might come in handy down the road.

Of course you can find many online guides to buying a desktop or laptop; simply search for “computer buying guide” to become familiar with the main components in play.

Having recently replaced all three of our home computers, I found that a few other factors also helped get me to make the leap and click “Buy”:

• Don’t wait until you understand everything. That is likely to never happen.
• See what discounts you can get by starting to shop at a rebate, credit-card or membership site.
• Build around a component that’s key for you: Storage, for example, if you have tons of photos and videos. Or the quality of the video card, if you’ll be doing gaming or video editing.
• Get a configuration built and priced online at one dealer. Then call another dealer and ask if they can beat that price for that configuration. Or, as often happens, offer better components for a comparable price.
• Once you have model numbers for parts, Google them to look for reviews or common problems.
• Get the at-home, next-day service warranty. If you use your computer for work, this is essential to reduce downtime in case of problems.
• Remember that whatever you choose, you’ll probably spend more time using its features than lamenting ones it lacks.

Unfortunately, once you’ve clicked buy, another potential paralyzing moment looms: Computer setup. But don’t worry; there are sites for that, too.

PASSIONS | by JEAN GALTON

OF THE MANY KINDS OF ASIAN GREENS, one of my very favorites is gai lan. Also known as Chinese broccoli or Chinese kale, gai lan is a part of the Brassica family (along with broccoli and cauliflower) but, once cooked, retains a sweet, grassy flavor. Simple to prep (just trim off the bottom and rinse), gai lan cooks, literally, in minutes.

© ANGIE NORWOOD BROWNE

Gai Lan with Miso

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 garlic cloves, chopped
1 large bunch gai lan, about 1 pound, cut into 2-inch pieces
1/4 cup vegetable broth or water
1 to 2 tablespoons white miso

Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat. Add the garlic and cook 1 minute.

Stir in the gai lan, cover and simmer until tender, about 2 minutes.

Mix the miso in a bowl with a tablespoon or so of the cooking liquid until smooth. Pour into the skillet, toss and serve.

CURATING | by SHERRY STRIPLING

A FRIEND RECENTLY TRIED COAXING HER MOTHER into familiarizing herself with the family finances. Her mother’s response was that there was no need:

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“I know right where Daddy keeps the checkbook.”

Busted! “Daddy” hasn’t paid bills by check in years. Her mom needs to know: How does online banking work? What are his passwords? How much do they have, where is it and whom should she call if something suddenly happens to Dad?

Some women take the lead or are close partners in family financial planning, of course. Others hear, “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” and close their eyes to make it true.

Remind your mom or your grandmother that being in the know is not a matter of convenience but survival. The majority of women are single by age 85. Worse: AARP tells us the average age when a woman becomes a widow is 56.

• Sit down with your parents or grandparents and take stock
• Assure your folks that you don’t need to know account balances, but want to make sure they both know them, and that you will be educated enough about their finances to help
• Clear off a large table, near a computer, and go over such things as:
  • Names and phone numbers of their accountant and financial adviser
  • Insurance policies
  • Safe-deposit boxes
  • Wills and power of attorney
  • Financial institutions and account numbers
  • End-of-life issues

Getting things in place in the good times when emotions are steady is so much easier. While you’re at it, tidy up these same business details for yourself.

WELLNESS | by VALERIE GRIFFITH

MY FRIEND HAS BREAST CANCER. When she shared the news of her diagnosis I yearned to help her, but like many of us I was uncertain about how to help. Since then I’ve learned a few things. Breast cancer does not need to be a solo journey. Here’s how you can help your friend along the way.

• Let her know these three things: 1) I’m here for you. 2) I love you. 3) This is so unfair. Repeat often.
• Be a food fairy: Take turns with other friends delivering nourishing meals as she recovers from surgery, chemotherapy or radiation treatments.
• Be specific. Resist generalizations such as, “Let me know if there’s anything you need.” Your friend is probably overwhelmed with her concerns, treatment decisions, etc. Lighten her load with specific suggestions: Can I do your laundry on Fridays?
• Keep track of her chemo schedule and offer to keep her company while she receives her treatments. Or brighten those days with unexpected treats – a soft blanket, lilacs from your garden, a message bracelet, a batch of homemade salted caramels.
• Call her. She craves positive news and a sense of normalcy. Talk to her about the funny little things going on in your life – your teenage drama queen and ongoing adventures with the good dog who does bad things. Do not discuss the earthquake in Haiti or the latest terrorist threat.
• Be there for the long haul. After an initial flurry of activity surrounding a diagnosis, friends sometimes drop out of the picture as the months roll on. She may move inward during this time, gathering her strength for chemo and radiation treatments. Don’t fall off the map. Send her a card, email her a poem, invite her on a walk, sit quietly and read with her.

BACK TO BASICS | by DEBRA PRINZING

IT’S THE TIME OF YEAR TO START PLANTING VEGGIES, and why not grow them above the ground? Few backyards have the type of well-draining, organic soil that carrots, kale, beans or tomatoes prefer. By creating a perfect planting environment in a raised “box” at least 10 inches tall, you’ll give backyard crops a jump-start to success.

SOURCE: SCOUTREGALIA.COM

Non-carpenter types like me can actually build raised beds using special brackets and pre-cut boards from a home center. Having previously built wobbly beds with L-shaped hardware, I can assure you, these nifty systems are far superior:

• Gardener’s Supply’s made-in-Vermont extruded metal corner brackets allow you to assemble a raised bed rather simply: Just add lumber. I spent about $150, plus the cost of soil, to construct a 4-by-8 foot box. To build, slip the boards into fitted sections of each corner bracket and secure them with Philips screws. The task goes quickly if you pre-drill corresponding holes in the boards.
• The Patio Garden Kit is a made-in-Los Angeles DIY system that creates an 18-by-30 inch raised bed with corner and middle brackets made of powder-coated, heavy-gauge steel. Designed by Scout Regalia, the system can accommodate larger or smaller planting boxes as well. You can purchase the bracket kit for $95 and use your own lumber.

My planting boxes are “bottomless” to encourage the plant roots to extend into my native backyard soil. To build them over an existing section of lawn, the turf needs to be completely smothered, otherwise grass will compete with edibles. One trick is to stack several thick layers of flattened cardboard boxes in the bottom of each planting box and pile organic planting soil on top. Eventually, the cardboard will choke out the grass, degrade and disappear.

BACK TO BASICS | by JANNA LUFKIN

THAT HAS LONG BEEN MY MANTRA. What basic yet classic items come to mind? How about the “little black dress”? A martini. A no-fail recipe for white sauce. White, simply styled dinnerware, clear glassware and basic stainless flatware. The wooden spoon, a balloon whisk and a mortar and pestle are kitchen essentials and classics, too. A beautiful, simple milk pitcher will always serve you well. And doesn’t magic happen with a bottle of extra-virgin olive oil, a jar of sea salt, a bottle of balsamic vinegar and a garlic press?

SOURCE: POTTERYBARN.COM

One of our 10 Insights for 2010 is titled “Everything New is Old Again”. Nothing could be more true. Why are some of our favorite old things classics? It’s simple: because they work and they NEVER go out of style.

Here are a few more of my favorites:

• Buying a wedding gift? Go for something in clear glass or white. A cake stand is a good choice, as is a set of simple mixing bowls or a beautiful set of monogrammed linen napkins.
• A sofa? Stick with a solid color in a durable, comfortable fabric, with simple styling and uncomplicated details. Unbleached cotton canvas combined with painter’s drop-cloth slipcovers stand the test of time.
• White sheets and towels.
• Black pumps with a medium heel.
• A wrap style raincoat in a basic color.

From creating a special dish for your family or going out for a night on the town, you will never go wrong if you stick to what’s tried and true. Your unique, signature style combined with the best of the basics will undoubtedly make a classic and memorable impression.

WELLNESS | by POSY GERING

WHEN I THINK OF MEDITATION, I used to assume it could happen only in a certain (uncomfortable) posture on a special pillow in a special place for a long time.

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But I changed my point of view from thinking it was about achieving some external form to believing it’s about giving myself an experience of quieting my mind, finding clarity and feeling alive in my skin.

With that model, I realized that I have been meditating twice a day for years: the two minutes when I’m brushing my teeth. I love brushing my teeth. I do it the same way, with attention and care, every day. I slow down. My mind becomes quiet and focused. I breathe. I feel my self.

What can be better than the feeling of clean teeth?

TRENDSPOTTING | by MOLLY MARTIN

THE NEW HOME SELTZER-MAKER SAT ON OUR KITCHEN COUNTER for several weeks after we got it for Christmas before I opened the box. Maybe I truly was too busy (as I told myself). But maybe I was also a little pressured (sorry) by the prospect of dealing with the carbon-dioxide-filled cylinder.

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When I could procrastinate no longer, I opened the box and discovered how easy it was:

1. Screw the cylinder into the compartment head and press into place.
2. Fill the accompanying hard-plastic bottle with tap water and chill.
3. Screw the bottle into the machine.
4. Press the carbonating button in short bursts until I hear a buzz; after three buzzes, stop (about 11 short presses).

And with that, my days of buying and hauling home 2-liter bottles of sparking water were largely over. Oh, I might need to buy some to bring to potlucks, or if we have folks over and I need a lot at once. And I already miss some of my old favorite flavors of commercially produced flavored, unsweetened carbonated water, but I’m game to experiment with new homemade ones.

In return, in addition to lightening my shopping load, I’m:

• Using tap water (ours runs through a carbon filter)
• Making fresh fizzy water as I need it (one liter at a time)
• Controlling the amount of fizz
• Reducing our consumption of plastics
• Storing our seltzer short-term in hard-plastic bottles instead of long-term in (perhaps harmful) soft bottles
• Reducing the cost to about 18 cents a liter (compared with 50 cents or more before)
• Avoiding a possible impending tax on bottled waters.

My only regret: I see now that there are machines that use glass carafes. Maybe next Christmas…