IN ADDITION TO THE FEATURES EXPECTED OF GENEALOGY SOFTWARE, my  first version of Family Tree Maker had an unexpected one: A place to enter notes for each person.

Over the years I’d heard our mother tell many tales of her parents, aunts, uncles and cousins she’d grown up with in Chicago. I could recognize stories I’d heard before — Oma, as we all called her in her later years, was very consistent in her recollections. But I couldn’t have told them on my own (I hadn’t met even one of those relatives).

So one June when my husband was on an extended work trip, I made a deal with Oma: Each night, I’d call her at 7 p.m., after dinner and before any favorite TV shows. I’d give her the name of a relative, she’d say whatever came to mind, and I would strap on my telephone headset and type like crazy.

© MOLLY MARTIN

After we made it through Uncle Mike and Aunt Delia and cousin Jackie Breen and all the rest, we started in on her life: “What’s your earliest memory?” The next night: “And then what happened?” And onwards. She told about her family, friends, neighborhoods, jobs, moves, houses, children’s births, life, lives and deaths.

Before Oma died, she’d gifted us with more than 50 stories, and I’d started pairing them with old family photos. I try to give one story to my family each Christmas, printing 20-plus copies for my siblings, their children, and now their grandchildren. I put each story in 3-hole-punched plastic sleeves and presented the first (above right) in a binder along with that person’s family tree (also via Family Tree Maker).

Oma’s nine years gone now, but her stories live on, for all of us.

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED THE LOOK OF LUMINARIES, the traditional lanterns that illuminate walkways and paths for Southwest-style holiday celebrations. Modern re-interpretations use paper bags or Mason jars, weighted down with a layer of sand in the base and holding votive candles inside.

© DEBRA PRINZING

Here’s a fresh twist that takes the luminary idea and improves upon it. The use of 7-Day Candles, also called altar candles, is brilliant. I first saw these Mexican chapel candles displayed by my artist-friend Kathy LaFleur. She lives in Southern California, where it’s easy to dine and entertain out-of-doors all year long. But even if you reside in cooler parts of the country, you can still borrow her idea!

White, red, blue or green wax is poured into an 8-inch-tall cylindrical glass container. “You can burn them 15 hours a day for a week,” Kathy says. “Imagine, 110 hours of candlelight for about one dollar!” You can often find them at Mexican grocery stores or 99-cent/Dollar Stores.

Kathy began decorating with these clean-and-simple altar candles after too many dinner parties where one-inch votives burned out before the evening was over. Her outdoor fireplace mantle is now lined with a row of the 7-Day candles, which glow and sparkle during her al fresco dinners. Kathy also groups three or four candles inside a large, glass vase for impact. She uses a few inches of dry black beans or orange lentils in the base as a stabilizer. Try a variation of your own and you’ll enjoy hours of romantic flickering candlelight.

As for displaying 7-Day candles outdoors, such as on a porch, patio or front walkway, don’t worry that they’ll blow out, Kathy says: “They come with their own little hurricane lamp.”

LET’S FACE IT, ALMOST EVERYTHING LOOKS BETTER ON A PEDESTAL: us women, our food, even soap and baubles. Take another look at those cake stands, vintage pottery, antique silver pieces and small pedestals shoved away in the cupboard, and consider them in a new light:

SOURCE: TARGET.COM

• Even something as simple as crackers can be an elegant addition to the table when marched neatly in a row on a simple raised tray.
• Fruit and veggies look like a still life when kept on the counter or kitchen island on a pretty tall tray. Purchase all of one kind, say apples fresh from this season’s harvest or simple lemons, for an especially sophisticated look.
• Earrings, bracelets, rings and necklaces will be worn more often when you see their dazzle in a sweet pedestal at the vanity or bedside.
• Bar soap next to the sink in a gorgeous little raised dish adds ritual to the washing, making it a pure little pleasure of the day.
• Even the day’s mail can cause pause when one passes by it shining from a sparkling silver tray on the entry table

In the words of the U2 song “Elevation” (be forewarned: gratuitous hyperlink to funny/lame/campy U2 Angelina Jolie music video), so many household items just seem to scream, “Elevate me!”

STORYTELLING | by SHERRY STRIPLING

WHEN MY FIDDLE-PLAYING FATHER DIED LAST SPRING, the universal response from friends was regret over what they hadn’t said or done.

These friends, mostly younger musicians, treated him like gold ― taking him to concerts, making over his tunes, dancing with him. Regrets were the last emotion my father would have wanted.

© SHERRY STRIPLING

“Why didn’t I visit him that last day at the hospital?” “Why didn’t I bake that pecan pie that I promised?” “I should have learned more of his tunes.”

So I created a “No Regrets box” for his memorial celebration. We invited people to write down anything left unsaid, anything left undone on a piece of paper, put it in the box ― and then consider it done when my sister and I burned the notes in a beach fire near the old family home.

The response was astounding. People lined up in front of the regrets box. We got urgent calls the next day:  “I remembered another one. Is it too late to add it?”

Two months later, my sister and I read the notes and burned them one by one, watching the ashes fall into burning coals.

“I regret I didn’t dance with Lee more.” “I regret not staining your fiddle again as you had asked.” “I wish I had been as open and friendly and grateful as you, Lee.” “I regret not spending more time studying what a kind man you were, Lee, and learning to be one more myself.”

We cried with almost every note. Afterwards, we felt refreshed, but also determined.

It was clear people understood our father as he was: “A sweet, gentle soul.” But the notes also reminded us to waste no time in telling people we love them. Burning regrets helps, but it’s better to cut them off at the pass.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT WEEKEND HOME? Is it a place out of town, a spot you drive hours to get to? Is it a place in the country or a loft in the city?

SOURCE: iSTOCKPHOTO.COM

What a luxury it would be to have such a retreat: A quiet place to rejuvenate, relax and regroup.

Many of us will never have a second home. However, the primary residence we do own is the place where most of our treasured memories are made. So, this summer — even for just a weekend or two — make your home feel like your favorite getaway.

Here are a few ideas:

• Picnic night: Once a week, pick up a variety of deli items, a bottle of wine and a few special treats. Clear a spot and spread a blanket. As the evening progresses, star gaze, catch fireflies and tell stories.
• Hire someone to clean your house and mow your lawn while you sit on the porch.
• Pay your kids to wash the car, then start a water fight with them afterward.
• Sleep in. Or get up early, grab your coffee and enjoy some quiet time reading, journaling or just putzing.
• Start a summer-memories scrapbook and add to it every year hereafter. Encourage your kids to draw pictures and teach them to use your camera. Summer through a child’s eyes is priceless.
• Set up a tent and leave it for the summer. It makes a great fort!
• Take the kids berry picking and make homemade ice cream.

To some, owning a home can feel like more of a chore than a luxury. But for many of us these days, owning one home is a luxury — one we sometimes just need a little break from.

© ANGIE NORWOOD BROWNE

ON MANY A STEAMY summer night, raspberry popsicles were my favorite way to cool off, once the sprinkler was put away for the evening. Since then, I’ve made my own popsicles, in many different varieties, with new flavors debuting each summer. Easy to make, with pureed fruit or just plain old fruit juice, there’s no more refreshing way to end the day. These are our current favorites.

Pink Lemonade Popsicles

2 cups raspberry lemonade
Fresh raspberries

1. Fill popsicle molds with the raspberry lemonade and stuff a few raspberries into each one. Insert popsicle sticks and freeze until firm, about 4 hours.

HERE’S A GREAT WORD for the Urban Dictionary: Boomerangers. Definition: the adult children of baby boomers moving home again due to financial or other hardship. I get it. Many of my friends’ kids are indeed moving back in either during or after college, or because they can’t find jobs.

On the flip side, there are just as many boomers whose parents or in-laws are moving in with them. It’s no wonder we are called the sandwich generation. According to the U.S. Census, the number of households with at least three generations increased 30 percent between 2000 and 2009.

When the kids or the parents decide to move in, the biggest considerations are space and communication:

• Reorganize existing spaces to provide balance between personal privacy, independence and communal living. Furniture and paint can turn a family or rec room into a studio apartment, a guest suite into a living space or a second floor into an almost-separate apartment — minus the cooking facilities.
• Remodel a basement, attic, garage or other area to create fully independent living space with separate entrances and cooking facilities. Check local zoning and building codes to learn what you can and can’t do. And be sure to get appropriate permits and comply with all requirements.
• Establish and agree on ground rules, such as who can use the kitchen at what hours and when loud music is — and isn’t — acceptable. Make sure each family member has an opportunity to have her or his day-to-day needs accommodated.

Whether it is your kids or your parents moving back in (or both!) look at it as an opportunity to create a new kind of relationship at a unique point in all of your lives.

RECENTLY A FRIEND ASKED if I would be interested in joining her for a presentation featuring a well-known interior designer from New York. I know the designer’s work and am drawn to his particular sense of style. The presentation was titled “American Design in the New Century” and I was curious to see how he might be applying his unique style in today’s economic climate, so I agreed to go.

OFFICEMATE WOOD CLIPBOARD @ AMAZON.COM

As his talk proceeded — accompanied by beautiful photos depicting gorgeous lofts and apartments in New York City and elsewhere, the “country houses” (most second or third residences for their owners) and the sources where the designer was shopping — all I could think about was: Where is this guy coming from? Was it me? Or was the rest of the audience feeling the same?

When the presentation was over, I turned to my friend and reluctantly said, “The best thing about the whole presentation was a wall of simple office-supply clipboards and the artwork clipped to them.” “Me too!” she exclaimed. I felt vindicated.

Later that evening, she called me. She recapped the rest of the day’s events and told me about a conversation she had with a designer who also attended the morning talk. “Loved that wall of clip boards!” she said. We had a good laugh.

My point? Even in the most expensive, elaborate and over-the-top homes, the creative use of something as simple, inexpensive and accessible as those clipboards made the biggest, most memorable impression.

As for American Design in the New Century? Based on the past few years of its first decade, most Americans have come to realize, appreciate and celebrate what is simple and familiar. A creative twist to an everyday object will trump over-the-top and expensive any day.

IN THE 1990s, Design Within Reach (DWR) tore down the walls of secrecy and exclusivity and started selling high-end modern design classics to the masses, flattening the design world as they went. For the first time, you could buy an Eames Chair — at retail. More than any other single company, DWR has done more to flatten and “open source” the design world.

SOUCRE: DESIGNWITHINREACH.COM

But DWR went even further. To an audience hungry for information, they supplied the back story, sharing what were formerly state secrets about designers, materials and fabrication methods. And in the process, they changed, well, everything.

At the time, the only way to get high-end modern home furnishings was to take a trip to your local design center with an interior designer. Access to information was limited to the “profession” and carefully transmitted to consumers through this closed-loop system of designers, showrooms, catalogs and magazines.

While DWR was opening up the upscale market, Ikea was flattening the world by globally mass-marketing “euro-design”. With their sophisticated manufacturing, and DIY warehouse and assembly, Ikea sold high design at a low price. But Ikea flattened style too, making the global local. With stores in 39 countries, you can get that same Ikea experience whether you live in Sweden, Saudi Arabia or San Francisco.

With DWR staking out the high end, and Ikea the mass market, West Elm took on the middle ground, launching in 2002 with only catalogs and a website. And the list keeps growing. You can shop, research and buy just about anything from anywhere online. From eBay to Etsy, you can access to a wide range of products and information that once required a degree in interior design. Or at least the wherewithal to hire one.

ONE RITUAL OF CHILDHOOD that is as loved by kids as it is detested by parents is The Sleepover.

One child spending the night at a friend’s home always sounds great at the outset. There is temporary parental joy when it’s your child who is sleeping away and you get a night of peace and quiet with your spouse. But the joy turns to misery the next day when your child returns beyond cranky, because he or she stayed up too late and/or got up too early. Not to mention the breakfast of donuts or pancakes that results in a major sugar crash … just about the time they return home. We call it The Sleepover Hangover, and the only remedy for it is a very early bedtime.

Recently my 10-year-old daughter Priya and I came up with an idea that would be as fun as the sleepover but void of the hangover. We called it The After-Sleep Party: She invited five friends to come over on a Saturday morning by 8:30. Dress code: Pajamas. Once they all arrived, each made her own mug of hot cocoa.

For the meal, the girls sat at an elaborately decorated table and started with a course of mixed berries, and OJ in champagne flutes. Bacon and pancakes, made in advance, were kept warm in the oven. For the second course, we set up a toppings bar – chocolate chips, fruit, syrup, whipped cream – and the girls made pancake masterpieces.

After breakfast came a dance party, including singing, gymnastics and musical chairs.

Pick-up was at noon, and the girls left thanking us for an enjoyable morning.

It would have been a total success, except for the one girl who asked, on her way, out: “Can Priya sleep over tonight?”