STORYTELLING | by SHERRY STRIPLING

WHEN MY FIDDLE-PLAYING FATHER DIED LAST SPRING, the universal response from friends was regret over what they hadn’t said or done.

These friends, mostly younger musicians, treated him like gold ― taking him to concerts, making over his tunes, dancing with him. Regrets were the last emotion my father would have wanted.

© SHERRY STRIPLING

“Why didn’t I visit him that last day at the hospital?” “Why didn’t I bake that pecan pie that I promised?” “I should have learned more of his tunes.”

So I created a “No Regrets box” for his memorial celebration. We invited people to write down anything left unsaid, anything left undone on a piece of paper, put it in the box ― and then consider it done when my sister and I burned the notes in a beach fire near the old family home.

The response was astounding. People lined up in front of the regrets box. We got urgent calls the next day:  “I remembered another one. Is it too late to add it?”

Two months later, my sister and I read the notes and burned them one by one, watching the ashes fall into burning coals.

“I regret I didn’t dance with Lee more.” “I regret not staining your fiddle again as you had asked.” “I wish I had been as open and friendly and grateful as you, Lee.” “I regret not spending more time studying what a kind man you were, Lee, and learning to be one more myself.”

We cried with almost every note. Afterwards, we felt refreshed, but also determined.

It was clear people understood our father as he was: “A sweet, gentle soul.” But the notes also reminded us to waste no time in telling people we love them. Burning regrets helps, but it’s better to cut them off at the pass.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEA OF THE PERFECT WEEKEND HOME? Is it a place out of town, a spot you drive hours to get to? Is it a place in the country or a loft in the city?

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What a luxury it would be to have such a retreat: A quiet place to rejuvenate, relax and regroup.

Many of us will never have a second home. However, the primary residence we do own is the place where most of our treasured memories are made. So, this summer — even for just a weekend or two — make your home feel like your favorite getaway.

Here are a few ideas:

• Picnic night: Once a week, pick up a variety of deli items, a bottle of wine and a few special treats. Clear a spot and spread a blanket. As the evening progresses, star gaze, catch fireflies and tell stories.
• Hire someone to clean your house and mow your lawn while you sit on the porch.
• Pay your kids to wash the car, then start a water fight with them afterward.
• Sleep in. Or get up early, grab your coffee and enjoy some quiet time reading, journaling or just putzing.
• Start a summer-memories scrapbook and add to it every year hereafter. Encourage your kids to draw pictures and teach them to use your camera. Summer through a child’s eyes is priceless.
• Set up a tent and leave it for the summer. It makes a great fort!
• Take the kids berry picking and make homemade ice cream.

To some, owning a home can feel like more of a chore than a luxury. But for many of us these days, owning one home is a luxury — one we sometimes just need a little break from.

© ANGIE NORWOOD BROWNE

ON MANY A STEAMY summer night, raspberry popsicles were my favorite way to cool off, once the sprinkler was put away for the evening. Since then, I’ve made my own popsicles, in many different varieties, with new flavors debuting each summer. Easy to make, with pureed fruit or just plain old fruit juice, there’s no more refreshing way to end the day. These are our current favorites.

Pink Lemonade Popsicles

2 cups raspberry lemonade
Fresh raspberries

1. Fill popsicle molds with the raspberry lemonade and stuff a few raspberries into each one. Insert popsicle sticks and freeze until firm, about 4 hours.

HERE’S A GREAT WORD for the Urban Dictionary: Boomerangers. Definition: the adult children of baby boomers moving home again due to financial or other hardship. I get it. Many of my friends’ kids are indeed moving back in either during or after college, or because they can’t find jobs.

On the flip side, there are just as many boomers whose parents or in-laws are moving in with them. It’s no wonder we are called the sandwich generation. According to the U.S. Census, the number of households with at least three generations increased 30 percent between 2000 and 2009.

When the kids or the parents decide to move in, the biggest considerations are space and communication:

• Reorganize existing spaces to provide balance between personal privacy, independence and communal living. Furniture and paint can turn a family or rec room into a studio apartment, a guest suite into a living space or a second floor into an almost-separate apartment — minus the cooking facilities.
• Remodel a basement, attic, garage or other area to create fully independent living space with separate entrances and cooking facilities. Check local zoning and building codes to learn what you can and can’t do. And be sure to get appropriate permits and comply with all requirements.
• Establish and agree on ground rules, such as who can use the kitchen at what hours and when loud music is — and isn’t — acceptable. Make sure each family member has an opportunity to have her or his day-to-day needs accommodated.

Whether it is your kids or your parents moving back in (or both!) look at it as an opportunity to create a new kind of relationship at a unique point in all of your lives.

RECENTLY A FRIEND ASKED if I would be interested in joining her for a presentation featuring a well-known interior designer from New York. I know the designer’s work and am drawn to his particular sense of style. The presentation was titled “American Design in the New Century” and I was curious to see how he might be applying his unique style in today’s economic climate, so I agreed to go.

OFFICEMATE WOOD CLIPBOARD @ AMAZON.COM

As his talk proceeded — accompanied by beautiful photos depicting gorgeous lofts and apartments in New York City and elsewhere, the “country houses” (most second or third residences for their owners) and the sources where the designer was shopping — all I could think about was: Where is this guy coming from? Was it me? Or was the rest of the audience feeling the same?

When the presentation was over, I turned to my friend and reluctantly said, “The best thing about the whole presentation was a wall of simple office-supply clipboards and the artwork clipped to them.” “Me too!” she exclaimed. I felt vindicated.

Later that evening, she called me. She recapped the rest of the day’s events and told me about a conversation she had with a designer who also attended the morning talk. “Loved that wall of clip boards!” she said. We had a good laugh.

My point? Even in the most expensive, elaborate and over-the-top homes, the creative use of something as simple, inexpensive and accessible as those clipboards made the biggest, most memorable impression.

As for American Design in the New Century? Based on the past few years of its first decade, most Americans have come to realize, appreciate and celebrate what is simple and familiar. A creative twist to an everyday object will trump over-the-top and expensive any day.

IN THE 1990s, Design Within Reach (DWR) tore down the walls of secrecy and exclusivity and started selling high-end modern design classics to the masses, flattening the design world as they went. For the first time, you could buy an Eames Chair — at retail. More than any other single company, DWR has done more to flatten and “open source” the design world.

SOUCRE: DESIGNWITHINREACH.COM

But DWR went even further. To an audience hungry for information, they supplied the back story, sharing what were formerly state secrets about designers, materials and fabrication methods. And in the process, they changed, well, everything.

At the time, the only way to get high-end modern home furnishings was to take a trip to your local design center with an interior designer. Access to information was limited to the “profession” and carefully transmitted to consumers through this closed-loop system of designers, showrooms, catalogs and magazines.

While DWR was opening up the upscale market, Ikea was flattening the world by globally mass-marketing “euro-design”. With their sophisticated manufacturing, and DIY warehouse and assembly, Ikea sold high design at a low price. But Ikea flattened style too, making the global local. With stores in 39 countries, you can get that same Ikea experience whether you live in Sweden, Saudi Arabia or San Francisco.

With DWR staking out the high end, and Ikea the mass market, West Elm took on the middle ground, launching in 2002 with only catalogs and a website. And the list keeps growing. You can shop, research and buy just about anything from anywhere online. From eBay to Etsy, you can access to a wide range of products and information that once required a degree in interior design. Or at least the wherewithal to hire one.

ONE RITUAL OF CHILDHOOD that is as loved by kids as it is detested by parents is The Sleepover.

One child spending the night at a friend’s home always sounds great at the outset. There is temporary parental joy when it’s your child who is sleeping away and you get a night of peace and quiet with your spouse. But the joy turns to misery the next day when your child returns beyond cranky, because he or she stayed up too late and/or got up too early. Not to mention the breakfast of donuts or pancakes that results in a major sugar crash … just about the time they return home. We call it The Sleepover Hangover, and the only remedy for it is a very early bedtime.

Recently my 10-year-old daughter Priya and I came up with an idea that would be as fun as the sleepover but void of the hangover. We called it The After-Sleep Party: She invited five friends to come over on a Saturday morning by 8:30. Dress code: Pajamas. Once they all arrived, each made her own mug of hot cocoa.

For the meal, the girls sat at an elaborately decorated table and started with a course of mixed berries, and OJ in champagne flutes. Bacon and pancakes, made in advance, were kept warm in the oven. For the second course, we set up a toppings bar – chocolate chips, fruit, syrup, whipped cream – and the girls made pancake masterpieces.

After breakfast came a dance party, including singing, gymnastics and musical chairs.

Pick-up was at noon, and the girls left thanking us for an enjoyable morning.

It would have been a total success, except for the one girl who asked, on her way, out: “Can Priya sleep over tonight?”

HUNTING IS A BASIC HUMAN INSTINCT. Instead of wandering the hills for our food and gathering firewood to cook it with, however, some of us spend our hard-earned free time in hot pursuit of that one object that makes our hearts sing. We collect!

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For some, collecting requires a fat checkbook. But for many people, it costs nothing but the time and the desire to acquire it. No matter their bank account, most collectors soon realize the fun is in the finding.

Collecting is deeply personal. A line-up of heart-shaped rocks in a window sill is just as valuable to one owner as a wall of fine paintings is to another. Our collections are as diverse and unique as we are.

Many of us work our collections into our home’s décor, but just as many toss them in a shoebox on the top shelf of a closet, illustrating one again that it’s not about the stuff, it’s about the experience.

If you are a collector, finding a way to strut your stuff and show it off can be challenging, but that’s part of the fun. The key to displaying a collection is, well, to gather it together. A few rocks strewn about here and there doesn’t say much. But displayed in a shadow box, placed in a shallow basket on a coffee table or lined up on a fireplace mantel — now that says, “This is important to me.”

Take a look at your most prized possessions and pull them together in a creative way. There is no right or wrong way to display them. Take a wall, jam-pack it with family photos framed in various sizes and shapes, butt the frames together and add to it often, stand back and admire.

Now that’s fine art!

BOTH NEW-HOME CONSTRUCTION AND ARCHITECT-DESIGNED residential properties have certainly taken a serious body blow since mid-2007. Add in the foreclosure rate, and the fact is that many homeowner dreams have been reduced to rubble. However, there is one area of the building sector that has seen exponential growth — the model-home industry.

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No, we don’t mean those staged homes where real-estate agents hope that by creating a desirable though imaginary environment, a buyer can envision herself living a certain kind of life that captures a dream and inspires purchase. We’re talking about another type of imaginary environment that is built by the owner, modified upon whim and very reasonable in cost per square foot — or should we say square inch?

There are the Frank Lloyd Wright Collection Lego sets that take a playful approach to the master’s work, with renditions of both Fallingwater and The Guggenheim Museum. Lego even has building block kits for the Taj Mahal. While Lego may feel a bit more male-centric, there are dollhouse versions, too. The Emerson House is a mid-century modern with 2 frpls, 2 bdrms, solar panels and sliding glass doors. The Guiette House is made of basswood and can be painted or stained whatever colors you wish. With PlanToys you can choose to either build green or fashion a not-so-big traditional home perfect for the first-time homeowner.

You can buy ‘em for the kids, but why not allow yourself a chance to build upon a dream and discover the inner architect longing to break free? The mortgage rates are pretty good, too.

THAT HAS LONG BEEN MY MANTRA. What basic yet classic items come to mind? How about the “little black dress”? A martini. A no-fail recipe for white sauce. White, simply styled dinnerware, clear glassware and basic stainless flatware. The wooden spoon, a balloon whisk and a mortar and pestle are kitchen essentials and classics, too. A beautiful, simple milk pitcher will always serve you well. And doesn’t magic happen with a bottle of extra-virgin olive oil, a jar of sea salt, a bottle of balsamic vinegar and a garlic press?

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One of our 10 Insights for 2010 is titled “Everything New is Old Again”. Nothing could be more true. Why are some of our favorite old things classics? It’s simple: because they work and they NEVER go out of style.

Here are a few more of my favorites:

• Buying a wedding gift? Go for something in clear glass or white. A cake stand is a good choice, as is a set of simple mixing bowls or a beautiful set of monogrammed linen napkins.
• A sofa? Stick with a solid color in a durable, comfortable fabric, with simple styling and uncomplicated details. Unbleached cotton canvas combined with painter’s drop-cloth slipcovers stand the test of time.
• White sheets and towels.
• Black pumps with a medium heel.
• A wrap style raincoat in a basic color.

From creating a special dish for your family or going out for a night on the town, you will never go wrong if you stick to what’s tried and true. Your unique, signature style combined with the best of the basics will undoubtedly make a classic and memorable impression.