IT’S JULY 4TH WEEKEND — don’t be mindless about it. This is an opportunity to look at what you are enslaved to and declare independence. What are your “vampire energy suckers,” the things you do because you believe others expect them of you, yet they don’t feed you? What are the assumptions you make about why you must continue doing them?

Declare your intention for independence to your family. Ask them what their assumptions are about “vampire energy suckers” and share yours. Chances are that everyone will be surprised. Once you expose the assumptions, you can collectively design different strategies or stop doing it altogether. We often blame others when we feel trapped, but what we’re really trapped by are our assumptions about it.

I HATE TO SAY I’M A USER BUT WHEN WE TOOK OUR SON, then a toddler, on his first overnight hike, I was already looking ahead to the day I’d need him to help tote the heaviest stuff up the hill. Fortunately, a love of hiking took, so I can look back now and say confidently that what we did worked.

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The safest time for a first overnight is in prime hiking season, often mid-July to mid-September. We picked a postcard-perfect setting with a lake that was more drive up than walk in, just a mile from where we parked the car.

Where we went wrong:

• At age 3, a mile uphill might have been too long for his little legs, but he made it.
• A good pair of sneakers would have helped. Rubber boots were a challenge.

Where we went right:

• We took lots of snacks and stopped often to eat, which I still claim was for his sake.
• We took his fishing pole, dog, good books for lantern storytelling and comfy sleeping gear.
• We picked good weather but prepared for whatever mountain weather can bring, understanding that toddlers lose body heat quickly when they’re not moving.
• He carried his own light pack with snacks.
• We devoted our attention to him entirely, knowing that the lake, getting lost and the campfire were all hazards.
• We kept a change of dry clothes in the car.

Most people think of hiking with small children as a way of keeping their own passions going despite having kids. As I load up my son with the stove, fuel and extra food now that I’m over the hill, I see it as a rare investment that paid off big.

SERIOUS HEALTH EVENTS: THE TRUTH IS, NONE OF US wants to think about what we would do if faced with a serious health event for ourselves or a loved one. And while great medical care is first and foremost on everyone’s minds, community and connections to friends and family can have a greater impact on health than our society likes to admit.

Enter CaringBridge, a 24/7 online experience — calling it a website doesn’t quite get it — that allows friends and family to come together to support patients and caregivers during a challenging time. I learned about CaringBridge several years ago when my son’s friend was very sick, with repeated hospitalizations.

The child’s mom started a CaringBridge site. Within days, everyone on her email list received an invitation to join the site. Within a week, family and friends from across the country — and the world — were posting messages, wishes, memories, photos and artwork. Almost instantly a loving community was created that enveloped the family. I had never seen or witnessed anything like it. It was social media at its best, supporting those who need it most.

Since then, whenever I hear of someone having a serious illness or surgery, I always send a link. CaringBridge now also has an iPhone app and you can check out their FaceBook page.

ONE OF THE REASONS PEOPLE LOVE TO TRAVEL is how they experience themselves when  in  new places. They talk to random people. They explore their surroundings, appreciating colors, shapes and textures of things. They’re not outraged by inconvenience. The time and process of getting from Point A to Point B is as important as the destination. And they turn up the volume on their curiosity.

Why not give yourself a foreign vacation without leaving home? Instead of following your usual routines, do them they way you would if on a vacation. Perhaps you’ll build in the time to drink your coffee on the patio. Or wander in your neighborhood and allow yourself to talk to some strangers. Perhaps you’ll just slow down enough to get a sense of the rhythm of a day in your village. You could even send someone a postcard.

Buon viaggio!

FUNCTIONAL TRAINING still seems to be driving a lot of new equipment in the fitness world, and for good reasons:

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  Many folks find that integrating exercises that strengthen core abdominal and back muscles can help recovery from old injuries and prevention of new ones.

• Movements that mimic the constant fluctuation between stability and instability of everyday activities feel more natural than isolating muscle groups on complicated machines.
• Plus, they’re often simply more fun.

A few recent ones that caught my eye from FIBO 2010, the world’s largest health and fitness event, held this spring in Germany:

• TRX Suspension Training uses a portable system of straps and grips for “leveraged bodyweight exercise” — often with one or both arms or legs off the ground.
• The Val Slide uses simple foot-sized pads for sliding exercises to strengthen the core as well as the lower and upper body.
• The TOGU Jumper in effect downsizes the BOSU to expand the possibilities on the unstable surface.
• Ropes Gone Wild proves that double-dutch rope-turners were getting a pretty good workout along with the jumpers.

Often, though, I’d like to forego the equipment altogether. A few years ago, I longed to do capoeira. Now (if it weren’t for the fear of likely sprains, breaks and months inactivity), I dream of join up with the kids doing parkour.

PEOPLE LINE UP TO GET THEIR “DOROTHY FIX” of wisdom and optimism. Catching my friend Dorothy Eaves, 96, in between her travels, I asked this California adventurer, great-grandmother, former school owner and Girl Scout leader to share how she keeps her sunny outlook.

Dorothy:  I take no credit for it. The good fairy gave me an optimistic disposition when I was born.

Sherry: Does knowing you’re optimistic help you face challenges?

D:  I think it’s important that I’m not afraid of change. Life is going to be different and you’re going to have to make choices. We all have things that you wring your hands and say, “Please, take this burden away, it’s more than I can cope with.” But you can cope and then somehow it goes away.

S:  You always say nice things about people. Is that a choice?

D:  I like people. I like people who are different. I want to know about them. If I see someone new, I introduce myself. If they don’t like me, well, I’ll go find somebody else.

S:  You read recently about five commonalities of people over 85 who live well. What are they?

D: They all drank coffee — I liked that one. None smoked. They were within some sort of normal weight but they could be pretty chubby, fortunately. They liked people and they belonged to a community. Wherever I’ve gone, I found community. It’s important not to be isolated.

S: Your Episcopalian church friends took you to a biker bar for your 95^th and 96^th birthdays. Could martinis be the secret?

D: Occasional martinis; coffee and wine every day. Obviously, that isn’t going to shorten my life.

S: Next big trip?

D: Mexico in October. There are many more adventures out there and I want to go.

JUNE IS GRADUATION MONTH. PERHAPS IT’S A LONG TIME SINCE you received a diploma from an academic institution, but life presents plenty of major learning opportunities.

June is a great time to consider and celebrate some other accomplishment: What have your learned or earned or survived in the past year?

Traditional graduations involve gathering friends and families who have been part of the process of sacrificing, birthing papers, gaining new skills and awarenesses, making connections, and persevering. These are the same kinds of actions demanded by the school of life. June gives us a seasonal call to reflect with those we love and share our continuing learning journey that is this life.

WELLNESS

MOST OF US TRY TO SOLVE OUR PROBLEMS with a variety of sledgehammers in our mental collection. Usually, the hammering has little success. There is another way.

Look around your life for what is already working. Do more of that. If you don’t see examples or seeds of something working in relation to that problem, ask yourself how you could get more. Notice that you’re already succeeding, and it feels good. As you continue to inquire about how to get more of what’s already working, you might just discover that you can put your mental sledgehammers in the basement, for good.

WHAT KIND OF DAY IS IT GOING TO BE? Most of us turn to the weather report for a forecast. The truth is, it doesn’t matter if it’s sunny or rainy as much as it does what’s going on inside you. So instead, tune in to your internal weather. Scan your inner sky for signs of brightness. Describe your own high or low pressure systems. Your fog can lift by mid-morning or winds will blow the clouds away for a sunny afternoon. Even heavy precipitation can inform you. And, most importantly, remember that around here, if you don’t like the weather, just wait 15 minutes.

Using imagery like this gives you ways to notice, interact or change your perception. It’s an easy way to connect to what’s really going on internally. It lets you give others a snapshot of how you’re feeling without obligating them to fix anything or appearing to complain. Also, if times are tough, it can act as a reminder of that old adage: This too shall pass.

IN SPRING A WOMAN’S THOUGHTS TURN TO TEE PARTIES, also known as golf foursomes. Golf teaches us patience, humility and to laugh at our friends, if not ourselves.

Somehow women remain the minority in golf – less than 25 percent of adult players. So take advantage of the sweet deals golf courses offer “the gals”, as we’re still called in the plaid-pants-and-cigar world of clubhouses.

American Express and Play Golf America dub June Women’s Golf Month, when participating courses offer free lessons for women 14 years of age and older. Look for other free or low-cost deals, too, such as club rentals, golf rule reviews, food or fashion shows. The card company even offers free online lessons via golf.com.

The course near my home holds a women’s clinic on Tuesday nights throughout the spring and early summer. For $5, we get a glass of champagne, range balls and a lesson on a different aspect of the game from a T-shaped hunk in tight golf slacks (or is that the champagne talking?).

Then, in the long evenings of gold-tipped twilight, we follow up the lesson with a discounted round with built-in golf mates.

Other clubs, such as the fabulous Glacier View near Glacier National Park in Montana, offer women free weekly clinics and a one-month “try-me” membership for all the golf you can play in June.

These benefits are lumped under “golf development” – ways for courses to grow interest. Ask around for good deals at your neighborhood course.

And if you don’t get enough golf in June, try July, which is “Family Month,” when many courses offer parent-child clinics, including “Take Your Daughter to the Course Week”, July 5-11.